Kaupthinking is thinking beyond normal thinking

I had a period of ecstatic happiness this morning. I Kaupthought.

It all started when I saw an ad for the Kaupthing Bank. It told me that "If we want to change the world. We can. We just have to think we can." This is a fantastically great idea! I am very enthusiastic about Kaupthinking!



Furthermore, said the promotional video, which was a montage of film and newsreel clips from Einstein to Lawrence of Arabia to Tiananmen Square to The Matrix, exponential growth was infinitely possible. I didn't even need to obey common sense or the laws of physics!

Kaupthinking, I was informed, allowed the bank to expand like an exploding sun: "We thought we could double in size. And we did. Every year for eight years. We thought we could increase our balance sheet. And we did. By 500 percent in just three years. We think we can continue to grow the same way we always have."

Floored - well, not literally floored, as I was sitting down at the time - I realized the implications. I found a dollar on the way to work today, so I decided to think that I could find double that tomorrow and the day after. With that sort of growth, I would be a millionaire within the month. So I handed in my resignation, as prospecting for sidewalk dollars is clearly a more enriching activity.

To say nothing of the fitness benefits of Kaupthinking. If I can run five miles today, I should be able to run ten miles in a week, and twice as fast. Within a few months, I’ll never have to buy a plane ticket again as I’ll be able to run there faster! (Except to leave New Zealand, but I doubt that Kaupthinking recognizes such trivialities as oceans. Even if it does, I could learn to Kaupswim.)

Kaupthinking is liberating!

Of course, some people point out that Kaupthing Bank came to a sticky end, destroying Iceland in the process. That's exactly the sort of pessimism that is anathema to all serious Kaupthinkers.